Category Archives: Teacher and Students Bullying

Parents vs Bullies: How To Bully-Proof Your Child

According to the United States Department of Justice as many 160, 000 children skip school every day due to a fear of being bullied. Bullies are not just depriving our children of their confidence and joy but seemingly of their education as well with 1 out of every 10 children dropping out of school doing so because of repeated bullying. The US schooling system has come under severe fire recently for not contributing enough towards anti-bullying and suicide prevention programs. Due to the fact that bullying has become tougher to track, certain school districts are employing paid services to track their students on various social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter.

Shaw Air Force Base members should keep the Wingman concept in mind for all circumstances at all times to prevent mishaps and keep our Airmen and Soldiers safe, Aug. 21, 2013 Labor Day weekend marks the traditional end of summer season and the critical days of summer. (U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Tabatha Zarrella/Released)

Bullying has far-reaching consequences which includes physical illness and a weakened learning ability. It is imperative for parents to fortify their children with the necessary skills to render them as bully-proof as possible. There is no need to encourage physical violence but rather instill enough confidence that will see your child stand up for himself against a bully. Teaching children how to deal with bullies will serve a good purpose well into their adult lives as well.

Follow these guidelines to help your child take a stand against bullies

Redefine the term ‘tattling’

No kid wants to be labeled a tattletale and often don’t speak up about being bullied for this very reason.  Explain to your child how this is exactly what the bully wants and that it is only by confiding in an adult that the power dynamic can once again be restored.

Don’t waste time

The faster a bully is stopped in his tracks, the better. Your child needs to understand that the sooner he speaks up against a bully the sooner the matter can be resolved and he can return to his stress-free life.

Instill awareness

Children should never feel that adults won’t assist them when they are getting bullied. Sadly there are cases where adults fail to acknowledge the severity of the situation but more often than not they are not even aware of what is transpiring. Children must learn to communicate with adults openly instead of fearing their responses. Teach your kids that they are not cowards for telling an adult about being bullied but that it is rather a sign of true courage.

Remain connected

Bullies try to isolate their victims from their families and friends, weakening them. A child is able to reclaim his power much easier if he maintains his connections with friends and supportive adults.

Chances of the world changing and bullying being abolished completely are very slim. The best we can do is to empower our kids to be strong enough to endure any physical or emotional onslaught they are faced with.

Guest Post by Jackie Edwards

Bullying Won’t Stop……Until

“Oh, Mr. Ellis, I was just teasing Tony. We were just having some fun. He knows it.”

When a bully is caught, he/she often knows exactly what to say to get out of trouble. The teacher didn’t really see what happened, so has to rely upon the reports and the denial of the bully. What should be done? Reprimand, once, twice, thrice… many times?

In fact, the teacher remembers earlier that day he was making fun of the substitute teacher in much the same way. It wasn’t his fault the substitute is so brain dead, and senile. She should know she looks like the wicked witch of the east in Wizard of Oz, and not get so bent out of shape when someone mentions it. The teacher was only trying to make everyone else laugh. He didn’t think the substitute would go to the bathroom and cry for the entire lunch period before going to the Principal.

Bullying won’t stop……until adults stop bullying. Until adults say “enough is enough” and promptly take action to stop the kids from being bullies and…… stop being bullies themselves, bullying won’t stop.

Teasing is defined as a verb “to make fun of or attempt to provoke in a playful way.” And in the online”Free Dictionary”, the definition includes more: “to taunt annoyingly”, “to say in playful or mocking way”, “to provoke or irritate”.

That is the problem, however we define the word or phrase, we can win the argument.

We teach kids there is a difference between “teasing” and “taunting”. There is fun banter and play between kids. That is a healthy interaction, generally. So how do we really know the difference between teasing and bullying?

Bullying is aggressive conduct intended to intimidate or mistreat a perceived weaker person. There is an intention to cause harm or intimidate. There is aggressive behavior which is behavior that does cause physical or emotional harm to others. Aggressive behavior is a problem because it happens frequently or in a pattern. There is also a power disparity in bullying. One is stronger or appears stronger than the other, either physically or emotionally. Bullying happens because we are not teaching the alternative conduct, and interfering with the offensive conduct.

Adult bullying is called “abusive conduct” in California Government Code Section 12950.1. Adult bullying that is related to discrimination, harassment or retaliation on the basis of one of the named protected classes such as age, race, sex, national origin, etc. is illegal. Common bullying in and of itself is not illegal so employers often did not remedy the conduct. At the time of this blog, only Utah requires similar training. The definition of “abusive conduct” in the Utah legislation includes, “exploits an employee’s known physical or psychological disability.”

It is astounding that we need such laws for adults. Adults are role models for children. Our actions speak louder than our words.

That’s why bullying won’t stop……. until adults stop bullying.

BY Deborah Reisdorph, Founder of BARE Bully Awareness Resistance Education